Perceptions

Moving to a new area brings exciting new places to explore, shop and visit.  New friends open our eyes and hearts as we choose to know them better.  Yesterday one of our neighbors hosted an intimate little afternoon gathering for just this purpose.  It was our first chance to talk at length with either of them.  A brief introduction followed by an occasional wave as we walked our dogs along the streets was the extent of previous encounters.  The previous occupants of our home were there.  They too,  are dealing with the challenges of down-sizing a household.  This home that seems so tiny to us was the "big one" from which they moved.  She laments the "large closets" that seem so cramped to me.  Many of the things we love about this house are the very same things they miss.  He mentioned the view from the breakfast area windows with heavy nostalgia.  They miss watching the deer frolic in the yard early in the morning.  It's early this morning and still dark outside.  I wonder if the view of the twinkling lights across the hills stirred their spirit in the night.   We discussed our plans to finish the big-boy-playhouse and addition of a pool beside it.  Landscaping challenges unique to the hill country were compared and we indulged in our host's beautiful back yard.  Sitting beside the pool on the patio overlooking the outdoor fireplace with treetops just over the fence, it was hard to imagine any neighbors nearby.  That is, until the siren from the fire station erupted just over a block away.  No view of the emergency vehicles interrupted the serenity, but the sound had broken the spell.

Lively Colors

At times I'm caught up in the daily details of life and overlook some of it's glory.  After months of political bombardment by the media, personal discussions and general unrest in the nation; the election finally was completed and we can get back to day to day life with one uncertainty resolved.  Now the media has a new story to chase and I find myself sickened by the news I hear everywhere.  It sort of makes me want to disconnect all news and find a quiet cave somewhere.

Health issues suffered by the men in my life are a constant concern.  Driving Papa to the Ozarks to spend the next couple of months with Brother and Sis-In-Law was a reminder of his fragile health and fading mental state.  A stop to overnight with a cousin demonstrated to this leg of the family that he is effectively gone from them.  Descendents from his only sister remembered the "Unk" who was always their hero.  Some old photos were passed around and his eyes were interested but failed to recognize any of the occupants posed. One photo included a proud soldier in uniform with a pretty young woman, Papa with his first wife, soon after their marriage.  He did not recognize either or remember seeing the picture.

View from screened porch

Ol' Abner did not accompany us to the Ozarks.  He traveled as far as the Arkansas Capitol City to finish his dental work.  On that visit, he arranged to transfer all his medical care to Texas.  Access to oxygen delivery is critical to his well being.  An appointment was scheduled in our new area to begin that process, and it conflicted with the planned trip to Dogpatch.

Arrival on the mountain where we lived for several years, was a joy to  my eyes.  As we crossed the Arkansas River before beginning the ascent into the mountains, I advised Papa to look closely at the foliage.  In the past, when it was in full glory there, the leaves in Dogpatch were pretty much gone.   I was thrilled to see the fall colors in full bloom throughout our journey.

A peace   enveloped my spirit when I ventured onto the screened porch of our former home on the mountain.  Something about  sitting in the treetops looking at a sunrise brings joy to my spirit. On the solitary drive home my reverie was one of gratitude for so many of the day to day blessings I enjoy.  Sadness at changes that are  predictable will not be indulged.  I will take joy in the unexpected flashes of glorious color   expected  to be long gone!      

Front yard foliage in our "former" home

Slowly Fading

We have Papa here for a few days.  At 92, with the 93rd birthday approaching, he is more childlike than ever.  When a couple of months pass between visits with him, the mental deterioration is evident.  We had lunch with Sis and Brother in Law earlier this week and retrieved Papa in the process.  He willingly uses the walker that was anathema just a year ago.  He always asks us to simply order for him at a restaurant and gets lost going from one room to the next.  Still, he is ever cheerful and appreciative of our care.

It's painful when he cannot remember many of the good times of the past.  When we discuss events from a decade or more before, he will look with a bit of a blank stare, and then pretend to remember if prompted.  He didn't recognize Son, but when introduced, he seemed to remember the person who now had little resemblance to the youngest grandson buried in his memory.  After a few moments of quiet conversation, the spark seemed to ignite.  Last night he was familiar with Son and Daughter in Law.

Sis and Brother in Law have spent many hours over the last month with photos and talks reminding him of his long and fruitful life.  I had hung pictures we brought from his home at the lake in the bedroom where he now sleeps.  Upon his arrival, I escorted him back to become acquainted with the place where he will sleep for the next week.  He stared a long time at the portraits of his three children and families, one of my mother with him when they were first married, and another taken on a trip with all the adult children after she was gone.  On another wall he looked at some landscape photos taken on the shore and grounds of the home he enjoyed for nearly fifty years.  We talked about the pictures and he interacted a little, but I cannot be sure if he was remembering or humoring me.  Sister is sure he remembers the things she discusses with him, I guess I'm not so lucky.

Will the chill last?

It was a very busy week and the next one promises more of the same.  Winter clothes in my closet feel really good now, but many of them are just a bit too large.  I'm thinking they need to head for charity before I decide to grow back into them.  I feel some shopping for light weight long sleeved tops and perhaps a pair of better fitting pants may be on the agenda.  In fact, I probably can move down one size in jeans.  If I buy them when they are just a bit snug, I will be motivated to walk briskly and remember my weight training.  (note to self: find box with free weights and resistance bands).

My sis is bringing Papa down on the first of the month to spend a week or so with us.  Because of his progressive dementia, one of us will need to be with him at all times.  Not so long ago, he could spend several hours alone if he had a good western to watch.  Now, he seems to wander around and we all fear for his safety.  Still, he is cheerful and always appreciative of all his children.  Sadly, he cannot always remember our name.

We still await the estimate for building the new garage.  The builder had promised to have his proposal to us early this last week and we are still waiting.  Ol' Abner is beginning to share my frustration.  When we moved to the Ozarks and purchased a home needing an addition, the local builders were enjoying a building boom and couldn't be bothered with our little job.  It took us six months to hire a contractor and another two months before he could begin work.  Seems we have moved into an area with another "building boom".

Halloween parties were the news we kept hearing this weekend, so the Trick or Treaters cannot be far in the future.  A check of the calendar reminds me that my cute goody baskets are all still on a shelf at Mountain Girl's new home.  I guess I'll just use any old basket to hand out candy on the designated evening.  My neighbors haven't mentioned the quantity of children we might expect to treat.  With a small bag of snickers, I  will dispense candy until it's gone, then turn out the lights and go to bed.  I do hope it's dark by then!

Changing Seasons

It's time for an oil change in my car.  Not so long ago, the date dictated the time to refresh the lubricant, more so than the mileage. The excitement of my new surroundings are stacking up miles to the next service quickly.  My car is several years older than it's miles would reflect.  Most of those miles were accumulated on the highways of Missouri with an occasional trip to Texas.  Now that we are back in Texas with the big open roads and generous speed limits, I'm racking up the miles again.  Over a year ago, Ol' Abner suggested we consider replacing my car before it aged out of warranty time.  I was resistant.  Now that's changed a little.  My problem?  What might I want to drive?  Always being fiercely loyal to American brands, those lines have blurred with all the uproar in the auto industry.  Furthermore, I hate wandering around car lots fending off the advances of sales people.  I would love to have gadget plug-ins that are more readily accessible.  I like being able to see up over the traffic ahead on the freeway, but don't know that I'm ready to sacrifice the decent gas efficiency presently enjoyed.  The ease of parking a smaller car is comfortable, although I've adapted to maneuvering large tanks into small parking spaces most of my adult life.  Oh the days of driving my Volkswagon Beetle!  That was a very long time ago and today's version of that icon are totally unacceptable to my aging body.  Maybe my current car needs one more winter in my drive!

Seasons

Autumn! Ahhh! Yes I love the cooler breezy days of autumn.  In the Texas hill country, falling leaves aren't much of a problem since the oaks here are mostly of the Live Oak variety and shed lightly year round.  I miss the spectacular views afforded by Ozark forests as they change to the fiery colors of fall.  Sitting on my screened porch watching the treetops or enjoying the morning sun from the treehouse with my first cup of coffee made this such a special season.  I wonder if Mountain Girl is over her cold and enjoying those beautiful moments as much as I did.  From my new windows, the outdoors look much like a summer morning.  The sun is bright and golfers and joggers are still wearing shorts as they make their way down my street.  A closer look reveals no apparent sweat.  It must be cooler outside.  A walk doesn't mean getting out at dawn to avoid heatstroke. Oh yes! Autumn is here.

Yawn! I wish...

This is the second morning I've awakened in the wee hours with a return to sleep elusive.  It's not unusual to find myself waking for a few moments during the night, glancing at the clock, realizing I can return to sleep with next awareness coming hours later.  It is unusual to toss and turn, remaining wide awake for an hour or more.  We are settled into our new home.  Life seems to be fairly calm for the moment.  No strange noises are going bump in the night.  Household temperature is comfortable.  Ol' Abner's sleep habits haven't changed and the dog hasn't adjusted her bedtime ritual of tucking us in then moving to another room to sleep.  So why, I wonder, am I wide awake at 3AM?

I could probably accomplish something productive.  A couple of knitting projects could be completed.  Several interesting books are at various stages, and a few moments of reading might be relaxing.  The last sleepytime teabag was used one evening last week when I felt a chill in the air and needed pre-sleep warmth. I should have replenished that supply.  Maybe I'll make a grocery list or rearrange the pantry that seems to have shrunk since we settled into the house.  Several missed programs from the last couple of weeks are waiting in the dvr to be viewed.  There was a time in my life when these were my most productive hours, but I find little satisfaction these days from nocturnal ramblings.

All I really want to do is sleep...or I think I want to sleep.  Maybe my mind and body are undergoing another evolution and three hours of sleep are all that I need.

Now I'm aggravated!  Ol' Abner left his air compressor on in the garage and it just kicked in and scared me silly!  Maybe I'll go wake him and fuss!