END IT TO BEGIN

 This might have been called the never ending month. I think this is really the final day of July. I don’t think I planned it this way, but July has always lasted 31 days. Each sunrise to sunset, often overlapping moon rise to moon setting  perfectly synchronized to complete a 31 day month. Tomorrow begins in the middle of tonight in perfect order to begin a new month of 31 days, it will be August. I choose to put aside concerns over nesting squirrels, where they were not welcomed. On the third attempt to prevent them from nesting and thriving in the ceiling of our playhouse, I agreed they must eradicated instead of relocated. I have visited the two thousand square foot playhouse behind my personal living space every day this month. No sounds from scampering chattering squirrels, no evidence of new nests. Later today I will authorize completion of the agreed payment to make them gone for a full year! Guarantees are like that; they are not forever!

MATTER

 There will come a time when nothing said seems to be heard or matters if coming from my mouth. Perhaps it is time to face irrelevance of the old girl’s opinions. Oh wait! I have joined the elderly girl stage. Somehow I thought a wide array of experiences might be of value. In fact I have been told often that a comment or observation, offered in casual friendly conversation, was offensive to someone I barely knew. I do believe words matter, especially in the presence of small children. I sometimes bring self deprecating descriptions into light conversation. I must learn to remain silent in a group, or keep my thoughts to myself. Wisdom is not a skill necessarily noticed with age. 

My mother pointed out as she approached her maturity “If I don’t mind, you can’t make it matter”!

I suppose what really matters is attitude. Mine is hard to hide!

Older,

 Personal Struggles (it’s technical, AI robot) 

Aging at its best is not easy, but has presented many unanticipated challenges. I have spent days attempting to add to this blog, finding the simple font I like, still not accomplished. It will happen unexpectedly one day I’m sure. Pray that I don’t delete yet another post as I search for an easy reading for my aging eyes.

Arthritic hands have brought difficulty for handwritten journaling. Constant tapping on a device and my painful finger joints are diagnosed by my physician as “Trigger Finger”!  I must remember not to mention that malady while searching through passcodes stored on a device, while at my bank. 

All appointments stored on devices with how many calendars???? This old human can only be in one place at a time. I really do appreciate the offer to send me an alert when it is necessary to leave for an on-time arrival. Yesterday, a confirmed appointment some how managed to send me on my way with an alert to leave soon from home at the time that I should have been arriving. I will retain the hand written card with time and date clearly written to verify the time to arrive. 

I have oft been told this is the ways things must be done, now. People my grandchildren’s age find it simpler in all actions. Perhaps that might explain how a few have managed to brand me as incapable and suffering self inflicted dementia. 

Dreading

 My mother would have marked  ninety-nine years  of life today. Wildflowers always bring joyful memories of her favorite season. Knowing her diagnosis would end her days quickly, she set her family and friends thinking a completely different way. She had always feared a death in a fiery car crash, with the consequences and loose ends left for her surviving family. She had the answer to that question … “How will my life end”! She became the queen holding court in her last days.  Her brother  and his sweet wife welcomed all she wished to see as they visited to love and reminisce with her. She allowed us to participate in her final party, and a party it became! Always I will be so grateful to my Aunt and Uncle for giving her such special times with so many. Yes, she was born 99 years ago today. The wildflowers remind me that she lived a life I can still celebrate!