Dreading

 My mother would have marked  ninety-nine years  of life today. Wildflowers always bring joyful memories of her favorite season. Knowing her diagnosis would end her days quickly, she set her family and friends thinking a completely different way. She had always feared a death in a fiery car crash, with the consequences and loose ends left for her surviving family. She had the answer to that question … “How will my life end”! She became the queen holding court in her last days.  Her brother  and his sweet wife welcomed all she wished to see as they visited to love and reminisce with her. She allowed us to participate in her final party, and a party it became! Always I will be so grateful to my Aunt and Uncle for giving her such special times with so many. Yes, she was born 99 years ago today. The wildflowers remind me that she lived a life I can still celebrate!

SPARKLE when you can

 Many years ago I pierced my ears using an ice cube to deaden the lobes. Punching the needle through my frozen earlobes into a cork left me wondering if my brain had been uncorked. Surprisingly, no infection followed and for several months I sported a variety of studs in my ears. A sensitivity to something in bejeweled fobs caused an infection and I eventually gave up and let the piercings close. A couple of additional attempts to succeed finally ended in frustration a couple of decades ago. 

New metals with less propensity to irritate sensitive skin as well as an adolescent desire to sport fashionable adornment landed me in a local salon to have them pierced professionally. No corks or ice, no clothespins, and no detours between entrance and exit portals.

It will require six weeks of healing,turning, and regular cleaning. Then I will be able to wear light weight simple studs for a few months. My goal is to progress to small dangle ear fobs, but I wonder if those lovely sparkly hoops will ever comfortably dangle  on either side of my face. I’ll let you know.

New

I have been revived. New visions evolve daily for me.  I have determined it is time to re-enter adolescence. There is a lightness within my heart that I never found through my efforts last year. Last week’s visitors noticed something new in me. It was a lovely revelation. I indulge today in a newfound sense of  hope, choosing to irresponsibly move forward. Fear of being judged by others holds no concern, I’m doing a “new thing” here. Yes, that is Biblical. From the wilderness in my frail mind, Wild Wayne the wonder boy, steps up over and over pointing out a powerful goodness in me, the youthful joy coming back to life. 

Daylight Comes

 I have survived the first quarter of this year, at times to my dismay! I still struggle with personal grief as I am lifted up a moment later with hope. The special blessing of an “old friend” newly offering wisdom and love has me pondering on better possibilities. A recent visit to the ancestral home of my mother has awakened a new sense of my place in today’s crazy world. Playing word blitz games with Silver Tongue, the Cousin, has taught me it’s ok to stay up all night to play silly games on my phone. I am wide awake at three in the morning indulging in a hot beverage at my kitchen table. Anticipation of a new grandchild coupled with a visit from my eldest grandchild with his wife makes me grin! 

After many months of solitude, constant visitors to my home have welcomed me back to a world of hospitality. Every guest has provided insight I would not have gained on my own. Timing and constancy have filled my heart with love and laughter. Again this feels like the home I have loved for many years. Without Ol’ Abner’s brutal honesty, I have been faced with frightening dilemmas without clear solutions. One day at a time, my guests come and go, each offering an additional level of peace in my heart.

A baby shower in the coming weekend has raised additional questions of decorum.  We are in a very different time. I have learned that “the way it has been done before” may not be appropriate for now. I struggle with personal decisions and needs, realizing new possibilities are so exciting! Wait! Did I say exciting, Why yes, yes I did! Moirés of bygone days are abandoned for tomorrow’s traditions!

Seasonal

Last week I reveled in bright sunshine,  temperatures in high seventies low eighties. This morning the outdoor thermometer registers twenty four degrees. My crankiness lives in the midst of this chill. I slogged around the house, logged in to the internet and proceeded to pay a few bills. Perhaps I might be accused of indulging in a “pity” party. It is no party! 

I wonder what this new year will bring.  Limiting activities that require many hours of my time don’t really change my outlook. Every task requires time pushing buttons to receive a robotic response that makes no sense at all. It appears I have aged out of my season of productivity!

Twenty Twenty Won?

 Only a dozen days left in this year, and quite frankly I am glad! As I hear horrors of the third variant of a pandemic, I yearn for it to truly begone! I cannot will it so, it may never end completely. I am told this last variant has less resemblance to impending lung failure than a common cold. We all know the common cold will never go away! I don’t have to like it, but in it’s commonality I can accept and manage it in the usual ways.

I choose to indulge in the joy of a scaled back holiday. In Texas Hill Country, I can still enjoy bright sunshine through my kitchen windows often. In fact, daytime temperatures have bounced from the forties to a couple of days later, climbing into sunny eighty degrees. Oh how I love that warmth! Most people still sport masks at large indoor gatherings. On my street, neighbors gather for shared dinners and cheer! One couple has led the way to host “dinner in the hood” often. We laugh and discuss events, history, hopes and dreams. I am grateful to be in the midst of these wonderful people. I am reminded of a recent sermon advising that we “love our neighbor”! What’s not to love about these neighbors!? I have truly been blessed in 2021!

I can hope 2022 brings far away family back into more personal space. For now, I will be at peace with mail, telephone and text visits.

I Should Have Seen it Coming

 I just landed smack dab into the end of the third quarter of this year. We are gradually returning to a very few privileges I always took for granted. Constant presence of a mask to put over my face as I enter a building, requesting permission to enter a friends home without wearing it, watching the calendar to determine timing of additional vaccine acceptance, hoping to add my flue shot without conflict. Now that was one long sentence! 

It feels more like I have been “sentenced” to never ending isolation. A few precautions relaxed briefly, are now accepted as an ongoing necessity. A table set for eight previously, now will only seat three or four properly distanced dining companions. A medical appointment includes a temperature check before masked entrance is permitted. I cannot say it is a bad thing to wash our hands often, but who cleans the tops of the hand sanitizer bottles positioned publicly.  I prefer to carry my own small individual bottle. 

This is our new world life. Times change but I will adapt.